If you identify as queer and are worried that you won’t find an LGBTQ+ friendly officiant for your wedding or elopement, this is the blog for you.
I understand that you might be on-guard; I can only imagine how hard it has to be continuously out yourself and your partner to potential vendors and have a lingering fear in the back of your mind that you’ll be rejected. Well, let me relieve some worries for you and share some good news. There are so many wedding officiants that would jump at the chance to bless you and your partner’s marriage. The downside? They can be a little harder to find, but fear not, here are three things that you can do to improve your LGBTQ+ friendly officiant search.
Research LGBTQ+ friendly dominations and find a church near you
A few dominations, organizations, and associations that are LGBTQ+ friendly that come to mind are Metropolitan Community Churches (MCC), the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA), the United Church of Christ (UCC), and the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA). These dominations by no means are your only options, but this is just to mention that there are dominations out there are open to the LGBTQ+ community.
Try out different referral sites
Referral sites can be a great resource to help narrow down your officiant search. Try out Equally Wed to find LGBTQ+ inclusive and affirming officiants, wedding vendors, or venues. The Officiant Directory is also helpful, as they only list all-inclusive officiants. If you and/or your partner celebrate the Jewish faith, 18Doors (originally called Interfaith Family) is also a great directory for both interfaith couples and Jewish couples.
Ask for recommendations from your friends and members of your community
If you feel comfortable enough, reach out to friends and/or fellow community members and ask for their recommendations. Having a recommendation from someone can take out the initial stress and anxiety of reaching out to someone new and help ease you into a conversation with your potential officiant.
If you’re feeling nervous, here’s a great script to start with for an in-person conversation, email, or phone call:
“Hi, I was recommended to reach out to you for your wedding officiant services by [recommender’s name]. Can you tell me more about the services you offer?”
With this script, you’ve revealed nothing about yourself, other than you’re interested in hearing more about this officiant’s service. Once you hear more about their services and offers, you can determine whether you’d like to proceed.
The journey to finding your LGBTQ+ friendly officiant can be intimidating but I hope that these resources make your search a little easier. If you’re a queer couple and are still looking for other LGBTQ+ friendly vendors, here are a few questions to ask yourself as you’re searching.
Are you a couple looking for an LGBTQ+ friendly and affirming photographer for your elopement? You’ve found me! My name’s Cameron (she/her) and I am SO ready to help you take the reins on your special day and plan your own intimate elopement in Virginia! Fill out an inquiry form to get started or check out my pricing to learn more about my philosophy, practice, and packages.
Celebrating LGBTQ+ couples and their love is my passion. I recognize that there needs to be more LGBTQ+ representation within the wedding industry and, instead of waiting for the industry to improve, I decided to be the change. I see my work as a form of advocacy that will amplify the presence of the LGBTQ+ community and cultivate a culture that favors love, regardless of sexual orientation and gender identity + expression.
I encourage you to check out some of the elopements I’ve planned and photographed for LGBTQ+ couples: Courtney and Nadine’s Duck Pond elopement and Ryanne and Meredith’s Roanoke Airbnb elopement. I’ve also had the privilege of photographing LGBTQ+ couples to celebrate their engagement or anniversary. Here are the blogs for those adventure sessions if you’d like to see more: Levi and Zach’s Fae Cottage Flower Farm Adventure Session in Roanoke, Virginia; Meredith and Ryanne’s Roanoke Star Engagement Session; and James and Pedro’s At-Home Photoshoot Adventure Session in Downtown Roanoke.
Maybe you have plenty of inspiration, but you need planning resources, here a few blogs I’d recommend to help you get started:
