Everything you need to know about planning an Airbnb or VRBO wedding or elopement

The trend of intimate elopements and micro-weddings has surged in recent years, offering couples a more personalized and meaningful way to celebrate their love. One crucial element in planning such an event is selecting the right location. Often, Airbnb and VRBO rentals provide unique and picturesque settings for these intimate celebrations. Here’s what to consider when choosing Airbnbs or Vrbos for your wedding or elopement day.

A lesbian couple exchanges their vows during a backyard wedding ceremony with close friends at their Airbnb.

So, Airbnb wedding or VRBO wedding?

Great question! There are some important considerations to have when choosing between Airbnb or VRBO for your celebration. Both are fantastic options but be aware that Airbnb placed a ban on all parties and events in 2020. Specifically, this guideline prohibits “all disruptive parties and events” and in 2020, they set an occupancy cap of 16 people, but they’ve since removed it. This is a snippet of the guideline from their website; you can read the full article here.

“It is important that those who use Airbnb are respectful of local communities. That respect includes trying to avoid disturbing neighbors with disruptive parties, events, noise, or other disruptive behaviors and actions. This Policy covers our ban on disruptive gatherings and other community disturbances during listing stays or Experiences.”

There is also an article that was written directly to hosts covering tips to help prevent parties at their properties, which you can also read here. Reading this may give you a better idea of how Airbnb hosts will approach your request.

A black wedding dress hangs from a rustic sliding door inside.

How to get around party restrictions on Airbnb

The good news? Most Airbnb weddings aren’t going to fall into the “disruptive” category; having a dinner with friends and family or hosting a small ceremony is hardly going to be rowdy enough to warrant a complaint. So, there are still some options for you if your heart is set on a listing. Before booking, I’d recommend reaching out to the host to see what options you have.

Some hosts may flat out say no while others may point you to their same listing on a separate rental platform, like VRBO (which I’ll talk more about in a second). It’s very common for hosts to list their rentals on multiple platforms to get around the Airbnb ban themselves.

Keep in mind that hosts of “traditional hospitality venues, like boutique hotels, may allow appropriate events at their discretion,” according to the same Airbnb policy. These more traditional venues use different listing services as well to market their rooms or homes and to increase the likelihood of a person booking. Try running a quick Google Search for the name of the Airbnb and see if it appears somewhere else.

And, if you do end up booking through a different platform, you’ll actually probably end up with a more affordable rate on your vacation rental because a lot of the processing fees are cut out of the process. Though, be smart! If the other listing platform makes your gut twinge, don’t risk it.

A newlywed couple dressed in black stand outside in the backyard of their Airbnb with their wedding party for a photo.

Is VRBO better for wedding or elopements?

Typically speaking, VRBO often offers more flexibility and leniency when it comes to hosting, when comparing to Airbnb. While both platforms provide unique rentals, VRBO tends to be more accommodating for small events like elopements or micro-weddings, as it doesn’t have the same restrictions in place as Airbnb does. So, I would personally recommend exploring VRBO first for a higher chance of finding a suitable space. I’d hate for you to fall in love with an Airbnb only to not be able to book it. 🙁

VRBO has a filter that allows you to find all of the properties that allow events. To access this feature, put in your location and date and then click or tap filters. Scroll down until you find the “house rules” category and click or tap the box labeled “events allowed”. When you do this though, your search volume will decrease significantly, resulting in fewer options. If your event is more flexible date-wise, you could see an uptick of results if you leave the date field empty.

Nothing exciting you under the “events allowed” filter? Remove the filter and restart your search, find a couple of options, and, like with Airbnb, reach out directly to the hosts to see what they have to say. Some will hit you with a “no way, Jose” while other hosts may allow it, but just don’t advertise it broadly. You miss all of the shots you don’t take; it seriously doesn’t hurt to ask. Whether you book through Airbnb or VRBO, please be honest and upfront with the host about your intentions.

A queer couple on their wedding day outside of their Airbnb hold hands and walk down a road together while looking at one another.

How much space do you need for an Airbnb or VRBO wedding?

That entirely depends on two factors: 1.) how many people are intending to visit and 2.) how many people are intending to stay. Keep in mind that the rental you choose as the backdrop for your elopement day doesn’t have to be the place where every single guest stays.

You may find some options with multiple houses on site, which is a good idea if your guests are 1.) younger and may want to par-tay and stay up allll night, 2.) parents with children (or introverted friends, no judgement) who may need to clock out early, or 3.) your parents or grandparents (or introverted friends, again, no judgement) who may want a space to their own. Other rentals may allow for onsite visitors for the ceremony and dinner and others may be big enough for everyone to share. Re: talk with your host!

A newlywed queer couple "toast" donuts with their wedding party members in the backyard of an Airbnb for their wedding.

Preparing for bad weather at your Airbnb or VRBO elopement

Okay, I lied, so the size of your rental is dependent actually on three factors with the first two already discussed above and the last one being: weather. When considering a VRBO or Airbnb to rent for your elopement, it is very important to have a rainy day plan in case it is non-stop pouring on your day.

Now, if you’re here, odds are you’re wanting to elope outdoors, whether that’s both ceremony and reception happening at one location or ceremony and reception happening at different spots. Y’all might not care about strapping on some rain boots, using cute clear umbrellas for your photos, and sporting rain jackets but your guests might (think grandparents with mobility issues).

So, it’s important to ask yourselves: “Is there sufficient space indoors for the ceremony and reception if need be?” If the photos don’t really help give you an idea, talk to your host and see if they have (or can provide you with) approximate dimensions.

A close up shot of a couple's hands grabbing onto one another's wrist while a friend ties a rope around their hands for a handfasting wedding ceremony.

How do you choose a VRBO or Airbnb? What do you need to consider?

Outdoor Setting

If you’re using your Airbnb or VRBO as a space for your reception and ceremony, it’s going to be super important to pick a rental with a large, flat space that can reasonably work as both “venues”. Often times in the mountains, you’ll find listings that feature small homes with a steeply sloped plot of land that may allow enough room for parking and that’s it… this leaves you with very little wiggle room for reception and ceremony shots, which leads to less variety in your photos.

If you’re not using your Airbnb or VRBO as a space for your reception and ceremony because your hope is to have your guests join you for the ceremony and then meet back up with you for the reception, my advice would be to reconsider.

Why? Let’s say you’re eyeing a spot on the Blue Ridge Parkway for your ceremony (which, by the way, if you didn’t know, you need a permit to do so; read more about that in my Blue Ridge Parkway Permit Guide blog here). Often times, these spots are going to require you to coordinate with up to 15-25 people, depending on the spot, to a location without reliable cell phone service and that may require a hike to reach. To add, if it rains on your wedding day, the back up plan is going to be using umbrellas, rainboots, jackets, ponchos; whatever we need to stay dry. I’m ready to shoot come rain or come shine but, as I mentioned earlier, some guests may not enjoy that, so doing the ceremony back at your Airbnb or VRBO would be a better option.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t get those BOMB photos of you two in a beautiful location like you had envisioned. For this, I would recommend planning an activity around sunrise just the two of you (well… and me too, so us three) in the location you dreamed of having your ceremony. This could look like a first look, private vows, bringing a thermos of coffee and a picnic breakfast to share together, playing a favorite game together, exchanging gifts, or whatever activity you’d like. I mean, after all, this is Y’ALL’s BIG DAY; you deserve to carve out the time for yourselves.

A queer couple on their wedding day go in for a kiss after their first look in the backyard of their Airbnb.

Natural Lighting and General Aesthetic

From a photography standpoint, natural light is THE best light to work with and it can make a significant difference in your wedding photos. Look for accommodations with ample natural lighting for getting ready shots and portraits. Consider spaces with large windows or outdoor areas that allow light to stream in beautifully.

Be careful about going for that “cabin vibe” for your Virginia mountain elopement. Even though these places are beautiful in their own right, your photos will come out warm and orange. While a flash could work in a pinch, it’s not ideal, as it can become annoying and distracting over a long period of time and I would hate for that to take away from an intimate moment. Look for homes that are painted on the inside, preferably in a neutral color (think ivory, cream, beige, tan, taupe, pewter gray, heather gray… black or navy is okay too).

A table set up with a tray of chicken nuggets, a tray of fries, and two donut towers with glasses and plates from the Airbnb.

Mirrors and Reflective Surfaces

This is more of a bonus but mirrors not only aid in preparations but also contribute to stunning photo opportunities. Check for well-placed mirrors that can enhance your photographs and assist in getting ready moments for both you and anyone else getting ready with you (e.g., family members or other friends, members of wedding party). Mirrors can make for some fun and dynamic shots.

A masc lesbian bride looks in a mirror at an Airbnb and buttons up their suit vest.

Hair and Makeup Setup

If you’re hiring hair and makeup artists for your elopement and they’re providing their services at the Airbnb or VRBO, ensure that there are sufficient tables and/or countertops for a seamless preparation process. Keep in mind that hair stylists are going to need spaces that are close to any outlets for their curling irons, straighteners, and other hair gadgets. Adequate space and proper lighting in these areas are crucial for them to get the job done and for me to snap those BOMBBBB getting ready photos.

A femme lesbian bride closes her eyes and looks towards her shoulder for a photo in the room in the Airbnb where she's getting ready.

Privacy

Ensure the rental provides the privacy you desire for your special day. Consider locations that offer seclusion for intimate moments, whether this means privacy from prying eyes outside (avoid rentals in a neighborhood) or a moment’s privacy during the event itself to catch a breather (an extra room that no one’s using).

Let’s recap: Book your dream Airbnb or VRBO for your elopement or wedding in four steps

Step One: Explore your options

Begin your search on platforms like airbnb.com or vrbo.com. Specify the number of guests and your desired location. Keep in mind that adding more guests might limit your choices. If your dates are flexible, try searching without specifying exact dates. This broadens your view, showcasing all available properties suitable for your party size. If you’re struggling to find suitable options, consider booking two adjacent houses.

Step Two: Take a closer look

Pay close attention to the property images. Assess the home’s aesthetics—whether it’s wooden or painted—and consider spaces for indoor gatherings or sheltered areas like pavilions in case of unfavorable weather. Verify if there’s ample outdoor space for a ceremony.

A suit jacket, suit vest, dress shirt, and tie hang on a wooden hanger on a coat rack.

Step Three: Make a list and start reaching out to hosts

Create a list of preferred properties and reach out with general inquiries. Don’t hesitate to inquire, even if the property doesn’t explicitly permit events. Exploring direct property websites might bypass additional fees and offer more event flexibility.

Step Four: Confirm photographer availability and book*

Check your photographer’s availability for your chosen dates, then proceed to book your preferred vacation rental and photographer. Once done, you’re all set!

*You could also send a list of your preferred options to your photographer to get a second opinion from them before making your decision. Have your photographer rank their favorites, that way if one is no longer available, you’ll have photographed-approved backups.

A couple reads their vows during a backyard ceremony with friends at their Airbnb.

Choosing the perfect Airbnb or VRBO for your elopement or micro-wedding involves thoughtful consideration of various factors. From outdoor setting to natural lighting to host/rental platform permissions, each aspect plays an important role in creating an unforgettable experience. Take the time to explore options, communicate with hosts, and envision how the space aligns with your dream celebration. With careful planning, you’ll find a rental that sets the stage for a beautiful and intimate wedding day. But don’t worry — with me, you’re not only getting a photographer, you’re also getting a ‘through the ups and downs’ planner as well. I’d be happy to help you select THE best vacation rental for your elopement day.

If this blog inspired you say “eff it” to the big wedding and traditions and to plan your intimate elopement in Virginia, I’d love to be your photographer and capture your day! Fill out an inquiry form to get started or check out my pricing to learn more about my philosophy, practice, and packages.

Want to see what your Airbnb or VRBO wedding could look like? Check out Meredith and Ryanne’s Roanoke Airbnb elopement.

Here are a couple of other elopement planning resources as well to help get you started:

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