How to Plan a Wedding Reception after Eloping

12 Months Before: Laying the Groundwork

Select Reception Date

Choosing the date is the first crucial step. Consider the weather, availability of your reception venue, and any significant dates that may impact your guests’ ability to attend. Not sure when the best time of year would be? If you’re planning a reception in Virginia, this blog that I wrote covers the best seasons and months to get married in Virginia.

Set Budget and Determine Financial Responsibilities

Discuss your budget early on and decide who will be paying for what. This prevents any financial surprises down the road. If you intend on having any of your parents finance the wedding, try to get all of your parents in one room and divvy out any financial responsibilities.

Reserve Reception Venue

Book your reception venue as soon as possible. Popular venues can get booked up quickly, so securing your spot early is essential. If you’re eyeing an outdoor venue, don’t forget to consider the possibility of inclement weather.

Compile Guest List and Collect Addresses

Creating a guest list is essential. Start with a rough draft, then fine-tune it to fit your venue’s capacity. Collecting addresses early makes sending out invites and save-the-dates much easier later on. If you’re hoping to have an intimate reception and really want to ensure that your guest list doesn’t get too long, I’ve written a guide that will help you keep your wedding guest list small.

Research Accommodations for Out-of-Town Guests

Many of your guests might be traveling, so researching local hotels and accommodations is a must. Provide this information on your wedding website or with the save-the-dates. When looking at hotels, consider if you want to go the guaranteed block route or if you’d rather choose a courtesy block. Where Will They Stay defines the following blocks as such:

“A courtesy room is defined as a block of rooms held for your group with a cut-off date (usually 30 days prior to check-in). On that cut-off date, the hotel releases any unbooked rooms in your hotel courtesy block back into their inventory without financial obligation for you.

A guaranteed, or contract block, is used for a guaranteed number of rooms. Your group will be required to pick up a percentage of rooms, also known as a hotel attrition rate (typically 70% to 90%). For example: If you contracted for 20 rooms x 2 nights, and the attrition clause’s rate is 80%, then your group would be responsible for filling a total of 32 room nights by the cut-off date (usually 30 days prior to check-in). If those 32 rooms aren’t filled, you can be charged for those unbooked room nights in your block.”

Get Ideas from Pinterest

I’m sure you already know this since you’ve likely used Pinterest to plan your elopement but Pinterest is a great resource for finding inspiration for décor, themes, color palettes, and activities to help visualize your reception and keep track of ideas. If you want your reception to look similar to your elopement, you can just use your elopement Pinterest board as a guide. However, if you’re feeling adventurous and want to plan something completely different for your reception, make a separate board and get to pinning! Feel free to look at the boards I have on my Pinterest profile to help start your brainstorming session!

Purchase Wedding Insurance

Even though you’re only planning a reception, I recommend considering getting wedding insurance. Planning and hosting a reception, like planning and having your elopement, is a big investment and it’s important to protect you and your event as much as you can. Wedding insurance covers damages or injuries that occur during your event or reimburses you if your event ends up postponed or cancelled. For more information regarding wedding insurance, check out this article on NerdWallet.

10-12 Months Before: Bringing the Vision to Life

Pick Theme and Colors

Now that you’ve spent some time exploring possible ideas for themes and colors, it’s time to make a final decision! Having a theme and color palette figured out will help guide your décor, attire, and overall aesthetic.

Send Out Save the Dates

With your guest list ready, send out save-the-dates to ensure your loved ones mark their calendars. I’ll admit, my partner and I elected not to do save-the-dates and, honestly, it didn’t drastically impact who could come or not. So, I think this could be something you could skip. However, if you want another excuse to show off any engagement photos or, even, photos from your elopement and have wiggle room in your budget, by all means, send them out!

Buy and Get Fitted for Dress

If you wore a dress for your elopement, you can opt to wear it again for your reception, just be sure to try it on a few times beforehand and make sure it still fits and find an alteration specialist if it needs to be altered at any point. Alternatively, maybe you loved your dress for your elopement but don’t think it’d be great for your reception or simply want something new! If a new dress for your reception is in your future, start shopping early and schedule fittings to avoid last-minute stress.

Book Hotel Room Blocks

Reserve blocks of rooms at nearby hotels for your guests. Many hotels offer discounts for bulk bookings and it ensures your guests have a convenient place to stay. Be sure to check if the hotel you’re booking offers a shuttle service from a nearby airport or if guests will have options to rent a car or use ride-sharing services like Uber or Lyft. If you already have a feeling that the parking situation is going to be iffy at your chosen venue for your reception, ask the hotel if they’d be okay with you using a third-party wedding transportation service to transport guests from the hotel to the reception venue and back.

8-10 Months Before: Securing Key Services

Book Caterer

Good food is a cornerstone of a great reception. Taste several caterers before choosing one that meets your needs and tastes. Keep in mind that your guests are likely going to have a variety of dietary restrictions, sensitivities, allergies, and preferences. While you won’t know all of these until closer to your reception date, it’s good to go ahead and keep that in mind as you’re trying foods and to ask caterers about how they handle any dietary needs.

Book Entertainment

Choosing the right entertainment is crucial for ensuring your wedding reception is a memorable and enjoyable event for your guests. Decide whether you want a DJ, band, or another form of entertainment. Ensure your DJ or band can cater to a variety of musical tastes to keep the dance floor popping! If you’re considering skipping this step, please reconsider. Guest experience is HUGE, and without entertainment, your guests may become bored. Without activities or entertainment to bring your guests together, they may simply remain at their seats. My partner and I nearly skipped this step and worried about how to keep our guests entertained. In hindsight, securing good entertainment made all the difference! Pro-tip: See if your band or DJ can also act as a master of ceremonies (MC) to keep the event flowing smoothly.

Book Florist

Florals can really transform your venue. Choose a florist who can create arrangements that align with your theme and colors. This could be especially cool if you couldn’t have real florals for your elopement, due to a state/federal park or trail restriction. You can DIY your own floral arrangements if that’s more your cup of tea.

Hire Photographer/Videographer

I think this is obvious coming from a photographer BUT you’ll want to be sure to capture the memories of your reception with a professional photographer and videographer. It’s important to find someone who understands your vision. If your elopement photographer could also be the one to photograph your reception, even better!

Book Beauty and Hair

Secure your hair and makeup artists early. Doing trial runs ensures you are happy with the look for the big day. If you don’t need hair and makeup done, skip this.

Book Transportation

Arrange transportation for yourselves and, if needed, for guests. Renting a car that matches your theme can add a special touch.

6-8 Months Before: Sending Invitations and Finalizing Details

Buy and Send Invitations

With your guest list finalized, design and send out invitations. Include RSVP cards and all necessary details about the reception. Or, if you’re like my partner and I and didn’t want to keep track of physical cards, opt for a way for your guests to RSVP digitally. When we made our wedding website, there was a tab specifically for RSVPing. If any guests had any issues, we were able to manually RSVP for them.

Bonus tip: However you decide to collect RSVPs, make it crystal clear if someone has a plus one or not. Don’t assume that writing the names of the invited people on the envelope are enough and do not make it an option for them to write in anyone not explicitly invited. Otherwise, you will have people RSVP a plus one when they were not explicitly given one. You have been warned!

Consider Ordering Favors

To be honest, my partner and I elected to skip this because, in my experience with photographing traditional weddings, favors tend to get left behind and the couple usually end up with them at the end of the night. Some guests may leave early and forget to pick a favor before they exit, guests may not have known about them (i.e., not strong enough communication on the day of), and some guests simply didn’t want them (i.e., the selected favor couldn’t fit in their suitcase or travel well). If you do elect to get favors for your guests, choose favors that reflect your theme and personality and that guests will appreciate and remember.

Order Cake and/or Desserts

Schedule tastings and order your wedding cake. Choose flavors that you and your guests will enjoy. Like with your catering, keep in mind that your guests will have a variety of dietary restrictions, sensitivities, allergies, and preferences. While you won’t know all of these until closer to your reception date, it’s good to go ahead and keep that in mind as you’re trying different desserts and to ask potential vendors how they handle dietary needs. If you’re not a cake person OR already had a cake for your elopement and are wanting to explore different options, consider hiring a vendor that offers dessert bars! Instead of a cake, you can have things like cookies, brownies, whoopie pies, macarons… whatever your heart desire. Or, see if there is an ice cream truck vendor near you that would be willing to serve you and your guests at your reception venue.

Order Rentals

Rent any necessary items like tables, chairs, linens, and place settings. Ensure you have everything needed to accommodate your guests comfortably. When purchasing rentals, don’t forget to consider the accessibility and mobility of your guests. As an example, consider getting individual chairs with backs on them instead of long benches. If your venue has picnic tables, try to also have a couple of more “traditional” tables and chairs for those who would have a harder time getting in and out of a picnic table. This is being said directly from our experience!

4-6 Months Before: Fine-Tuning the Experience

Decide on the Menu

Finalize your menu with your caterer and be sure your menu includes options for the different dietary needs of your guests.

Do a Hair and Makeup Trial

Have a trial run for hair and makeup to ensure everything is perfect. Remember: if you don’t need this, skip it!

Create a List of Activities

Plan activities to keep your guests entertained. Consider options like lawn games or a photo booth for fun and interactive experiences.

Buy/Get Fitted for Suit

If you wore a suit for your elopement, you can opt to wear it again for your reception, just be sure to try it on a few times beforehand and make sure it still fits and find an alteration specialist if it needs to be tweaked at any point. If you’re wanting a new suit for your reception, start shopping and schedule in your fittings!

Confirm Bar and Signature Drinks

Work with your venue or caterer to confirm bar arrangements and create a signature drink list. If you need to acquire any permits from your local government and/or a state ABC permit for your event, now is also the time to get those filed.

Make Welcome Bags

Consider making welcome bags for out-of-town guests. Include local snacks, maps, and a thank you note.

2-4 Months Before: Final Preparations

Finalize Guest List

Confirm your final guest list and make necessary adjustments.

Draft a Preliminary Seating Plan

Start drafting your seating plan early to simplify the process. One effective method is to use digital tools like Canva, where you can create a mockup of the tables, write out the names of your guests, and move their names around easily until you’re happy with the arrangements. Alternatively, you can use physical items: represent tables with paper plates and guests with clothespins labeled with names, and arrange them until everyone fits nicely. I saw this idea on TikTok and thought it was so neat! Check out the video here.

When planning seating arrangements, consider the mobility needs of your guests first. Ensure those with special requirements and accommodations have appropriate seating (e.g., chairs with backs, space for wheelchairs, level surfaces, and distance from loud music). After addressing mobility needs, focus on relationships. Seat families and friends together whenever possible. If family relationships are strained, consider placing individuals with others they are likely to get along with, such as people with similar interests or personalities, or you can always put that one extroverted, social butterfly friend to work.

Another approach is to designate a few “reserved” tables for guests of high importance (e.g., those with mobility issues, close family members, or friends) and allow the remaining guests to choose their seats. This may create a bottleneck initially depending on how many people arrive at the same time, but eventually, everyone will find a place and you’ll save some time trying to figure out where everyone will sit.

Create Timeline

Draft a detailed timeline for your reception day, covering everything from the ceremony to the last dance. Start by identifying key moments, such as sunset photos, and work backwards to fill in activities before and after. For example, we prioritized sunset photos and structured our timeline around this, filling in other events accordingly. Include all pre-reception tasks in your timeline, such as hair, makeup, and arrival at the venue. Additionally, note when each vendor will arrive and perform their specific tasks, like when the DJ will set up, the photographer’s arrival, and the catering schedule. This comprehensive approach ensures everything runs smoothly and keeps everyone on track.

Finalize Reception Song List

Choose songs for key moments that you’ve included as part of your day. Some moments include the grand entrance, first dance, any family dances, cake cutting, bouquet/garter toss, any other fun games (i.e., the anniversary game, the wedding shoe game, etc.), last dance, and exit/departure.

Finalize Centerpieces and Décor

Confirm your centerpiece designs and other décor elements.

1-2 Months Before: Putting Everything Together

Buy Final Touches

Purchase any last-minute items like accessories or additional décor.

Confirm Parking and Transportation

Ensure parking and/or transportation arrangements are in place for your guests.

Have Final Dress Fitting

Have your final dress fitting and make any necessary adjustments.

Finalize Room Blocks

Confirm your hotel room blocks and provide guests with the information.

Inform Photographer of Must-Have Photos

Discuss must-take photos with your photographer to ensure nothing is missed. This is also a great time to share what family photos you want. I would personally recommend aiming for around 15-20 combinations, including shots like parents and/or grandparents, siblings, chosen family, close friends, etc. You can expect your photographer to photograph 1-2 combos a minute; it could take longer if there are a lot of people in a shot.

Follow Up on RSVPs

Contact guests who haven’t responded to finalize your headcount.

Finalize Seating Plan

Complete and confirm your seating plan based on your updated list of RSVPs.

2 Weeks to 1 Month Before: Final Confirmations

Inform Caterer of Final Guest Count

Give your caterer the final number of guests and any updated dietary needs information.

Break in Wedding Shoes

Wear your wedding shoes around the house to ensure comfort on the big day.

Confirm Vendor Arrangements

Double-check all arrangements with your vendors to avoid any last-minute surprises.

Confirm Floral Quantities and Meal Splits

Ensure your florist and caterer have the correct quantities and details.

Confirm Cake Quantities

Double-check the cake order to ensure it will be enough for your guests. Be sure to provide any updated dietary needs information.

1 Day Before: Last-Minute Preparations

Stay Hydrated and Sleep Early

Keep hydrated and get a good night’s sleep to feel your best.

Lay Out Clothes

Lay out your wedding day attire to avoid any last-minute stress.

Day of: Enjoy Your Party

Eat a Big Breakfast

Start your day with a hearty breakfast to keep your energy levels up.

Enjoy Your Day

You’ve planned meticulously, now it’s time to enjoy every moment of your reception!

Post-Reception: Wrapping Up

Record Gifts

Keep track of gifts, whether they were cash/checks, gifts purchased from your registry, or physical gifts you received on the day of, and be sure to send out thank you cards.

Preserve Mementos

Save any items from the day that you want to keep as memories.

Sell Unused Items

Consider selling any items you no longer need or, if you just want them out of your house, try sharing items on your local Buy Nothing Facebook group!

Create an Album

Put together a photo album to cherish the memories of your celebration. These will go alongside perfectly with your elopement photos.

Planning a wedding reception after eloping can be a rewarding experience that allows you to celebrate your love story with friends and family. With careful planning and attention to detail, you can create an unforgettable event. Enjoy every step of the journey and cherish the moments with your loved ones.

Background

As a seasoned photographer who has witnessed many weddings and elopements and having personally planned elopement days for numerous couples, I understand the nuances of both intimate and bigger celebrations. This was the case for my partner and me. We eloped just the two of us in 2023 and planned a reception for our loved ones the following year.

Compared to other couples, we had a slight advantage. My profession involves not only photographing and planning elopements but also joining other photographers as a second shooter for their wedding days. This extensive experience gave me unique insights into the flow of a wedding day from various perspectives. Drawing from my experiences in photographing and planning elopements, second shooting weddings, and organizing our own reception, I decided to write up this guide on how to plan a wedding reception after eloping should anyone find themselves in a similar situation to us.

I also have to give a huge shoutout to a fellow wedding vendor in the industry, Lauren Rothe of the Planning Bee. She’s shared several resources with me to help my partner and I plan our reception and they were a gamechanger! Her resources made it easier for us to have frank conversations about budget with our parents and keep us on track and organized with planning. While I’m great at planning elopements, I’d be lost without Lauren’s help and guidance when it came to planning our own reception so I’d be absolutely remiss if I didn’t let y’all know about her.

Depending on how formal or casual your reception is, you may choose to skip some steps. Personally, my partner and I opted for a more “traditional” wedding reception that I might see when photographing a typical wedding day, but you and your partner can have a more informal reception, with less tasks and shorter timelines, if that suits you better.