Wedding vendors can be more inclusive and affirming to couples, especially LGBTQ+ couples, by using gender neutral wedding language.
Society has an extensive history of placing gender stereotypes on marriage and weddings and heteronormative terms like “bride” and “groom” just don’t encompass all people getting married. Kirsten Ott Palladino, author of “Equally Wed: The Ultimate Guide to Planning your LGBTQ+ Wedding” offers several alternatives:
Try “nearlywed” instead of “bride-to-be” and/or “groom-to-be”.” You could also use the word “engaged” but since “newlywed” is part of common vernacular, “nearlywed” is a great addition.
Use “partner(s)”, “significant other(s)”, “couple”, and “spouse(s)” instead of “boyfriend”, “girlfriend”, “bride”, “groom”, “husband”, and “wife. These alternatives aren’t only meant for use during a wedding; they can be used to refer to people in any stage of a relationship.
Swap out “bachelor” and “bachelorette” for “bachelorx”. Changing the language we used to describe the events leading up to the wedding can allow non-binary folks to have fun with their wedding party without having to ascribe to a gendered title for the event.
Instead of “Best Man” or “Maid/Matron of Honor”, you can use “Best Person” or “Person of Honor”. If you’re serving in this role and preferred to be identified as “maid” or “man”, that’s fine, just be aware that there are alternatives!
Consider replacing “bridesmaids” and “groomsmen” with the term “attendants” or call them all a part of the “wedding party”.
There are many alternatives, but this is a great start! This list is only meant to ensure that everyone is included and respected on your wedding day. It doesn’t take much to replace exclusive terms with ones that offer more flexibility with regards to gender identity, expression, and/or sexual orientation. The future of inclusive wedding language is about finding the language that is all-embracing and fits with you!
Do you or your business consider yourself an ally to the LGBTQ+ community and wish to serve your queer clientele better? You’ll want to check out this other blog I’ve written: How to Celebrate Pride Non-Performatively as an Ally.
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